link to the image.
summary- So far I’ve received 19 out of 30 replies back from my survey. Key words that people think of a(an) successful/unsuccessful relationship-
Good- “Solid friendship, feelings, humor, trust, honesty, fun, common interests, fantastic sex, attraction, mutual morals, ethics, understanding, “2 in 1”, communications, compromise, confidence, tolerenace, commitment, etc…”
Bad-Stubborn, hard to read, not their type, not official, jealousy, miscommunication, dishonest, verbal fights, long distance, alcoholic, insecurities, time consuming, selfish, depression, inconsiderate, hypocrites, etc…”
Response summary Thesis Research: Gender, Courtship, & Self-Identity 10/26/08 responses = 19
What is your gender?
Male = 36.8% Female = 63.2%
How old are you?
16-20 = 26.3% 21-25 = 73.7%
What is your sexual preference?
Straight = 84.2% Gay = 15.8%
1/30 of the responses.
What is your gender? ”Female”
How old are you? “21-25”
What is your sexual preference? “Straight”
Describe the good and the bad of your current relationship? (If single describe your past relationship). “Of my past relationship of 4 years: good: fantastic chemistry (emotionally and physically), understanding, reliability, good listener, monogamous, we had same music taste, same interests. Bad: he was jealous, controlling, and never wanted to try anything new, and STUBBORN!!!! Current 'fling' of 1 month: good: fantastic sex, he's kind of funny, he tries new things, not jealous, not shy, so cute bad: not very reliable, we don't have great emotional chemistry, he's hard to read, we're not 'official', not really my TYPE of guy, but he is cute, and we have different music tastes and interests.”
What do you think a relationship should consist of? “Being able to be yourself COMPLETELY around the other person and have them accept you for who you are. Monogamy plays a huge role in a relationship. Trust obviously and a physical connection is also key. If I break up with the person, and we never completely connected in the bedroom it would be really hard to ever get back together with them.”
What would you change about your current or past relationships? “Past relationship: I would have fought harder to keep it going. I broke up w/ him because of distance, but now I sometimes look back and regret it. I wonder if I should have fought harder been more patient. I wonder sometimes if I messed up, but I believe it fate. Current: I want to get to know him more and get closer eventually, but it just takes time... so far I wouldn't change anything, but it's too new to say.”
How would you apply that change to your current or future relationships? “I learned from the past relationship to enjoy a good thing when you have it. If I ever have a serious, monogamous relationship again I am going to push myself to be the best girlfriend. I am going to listen to his needs and try to see his point of view, I’m going to be patient, understanding, and strong. I think an element of surprise is always nice to throw in as well. And I include that in almost all relationships. But definitely listen to him and be everything he needs -- no games ever!!!”
How do you express yourself? (I.e. through writing, music, art, design, etc.). “I’m a designer”
Describe yourself as a person? “I’m fun loving, funny, energetic, a little crazy, kind of dramatic :), but still down to earth.”
Has being in a relationship help you understand more about yourself? If so describe. “Actually being out of a relationship taught me a lot about myself. When I was in the 4-year relationship I was introduced to so many new ways of thinking and acting. I learned different music, learned about sports, and saw someone else's point of view, which eventually rubbed off on me. I felt like I kind of lost myself. Now that I’m out of that relationship I look back on clothes I would wear (that he would pick out for me) and wonder what I was thinking! I mean, they were trashy from top to bottom, and I wore those outfits all the time, dressing like J.Lo with short short short jean shorts and tennis shoes. i can still be into that, and feel someone else's vibe who is wearing that kind of stuff, but that is not my personal style of dress. now that i'm out of that relationship i learned that i am actually very smart and creative. and i am learning how wonderful it is to be an independent woman. when i was dating someone, i always saw myself as 1/2, and now i see myself and 1...and it's groundbreaking for me to realize that. one is actually a very beautiful number.”