Consciousness - of the beating of the heart, the ticking of the clock and the T.V. in the next room. "I hope no one sees me. I hope no one finds out what I am doing."
"I hope no one knows that I am trying to show thousands of nameless and faceless people my work, my thoughts, my ideas when I am afraid to show them to my own people."
Why am I so afraid? Afraid of not knowing, afraid of being wrong, afraid of not fitting in???
It is this fear - the fear of mockery, the fear of objection, the fear of rejection.... which makes my mind blank and my heart throb. What if they know?
What if they know? Have they made no mistakes in life? Have they never been the base of a joke? Have they never failed?
With the mist of the unknown clouding my heart and the cloak of doubt covering my head, I can no longer feel my thudding heartbeat nor my lost thoughts. I think I am ready now, ready to enter the unknown realm, ready - for a new beginning!