Design 21: Social Design Network

Today is more difficult than usual! I feel utterly blocked, stuck in mud, cannot begin anything, cannot finish anything! Each task meets with frustration, another failing goal/ lack of tool/ unknown words. And yet, looking at what IS working today, I realise that I was hugely rewarded by the cleaning organising, cooking and fixing, and managing to communicate with a neighbour, already... if in doubt about the way forward, almost always a bout of clearing up/ out will suffice to return me to the centre!

I realise my mounting frustration is partly around simply the lack of familiarity: it is a joyful freedom to embrace the new and the exotic, but after a while, I can feel my 36yr old craving for stability, familiarity and The Normal. I guess this moment requires a more significant breakthrough; my work has to adapt not only to a new country (climate, language), economic structure and so on, but to my change in personal circumstances: I am no longer a singleton bumbling day after busy day from one easily- managed engagement to the next, and always with every resource to hand: I'm now in a completely new landscape, a travel partner at my side, with whom I must work as a team.

I struggled this morning to break through this wall, and found that, as intense as it appeared to me, it was no more than a passing glitch in the matrix; a few words over the phone and scribbled (as it were) into a Word document, and suddenly there was perspective again. It amazes me how easily things shif...

It's a much cooler day today, and I am reaching mid-afternoon of a long day of painting. It is a good place to be; involved in a creative task, with the mind stretched upwards, outwards and into the ether!

I often talk about painting being like meditation, or a walk in a powerful landscape: in the absence of quiet or a place to walk, working at the easel is a means of entering an entirely new world, and building a relationship between this dimension, the inner landscape, and the larger inter-relationship-with-all-things.

In my own work, I find a re-synchronisation occuring very soon after beginning to paint, write, make. It is similar to the sense of well-being and/ or wholeness which came after sitting with my Buddhist group back in Scozia: I'd arrive fairly rushed and aggitated, and usually would feel oly slightly self-aware during the meditation, but after the sitting, well, there would always be a significant shift. Unexpected, subtle but definite,clear, un-argue-ably there.

I paint intuitively: it is often a little (or a lot) unnerving to paint through chaos; to begin, and to trust that there will be a destination, regardless of knowing it (or not) beforehand. But this is the essence: trusting, following, being present, spontaneous. It is a metaphor for stance in life; for being alive and attentive to the everyday, to the everymoment. There is a secret that opens in this presence, in the space where one is fully aware: it is something huge and complex way beyond my...

The niggling doubts and weight of tasks waiting, they all slip quietly away as I return to painting for the first time proper since arriving in Italy. Realigning the molecules and emotional body! The sun and breeze come in the window, I pause occasionally to reassure the cat/ drink tea/ eat crisps. The world seems easier.

The house is gaining stability- it is laid out better, and my mind feels in a similar state! Nothing like reorganising the external space, to reciprocate a feeling of order within... as above, so below.

It is a little nerve-wracking always, to begin afresh after so long not painting, but this time there is so much space, fresh air, clean silence and nourishing warmth surrounding me, that the settling into it is much simpler.

I began looking at the instruction manual for my new website today; this is a real step- beginning again with my public profile/ presentation of work and ideas. My current main website www.claregalloway.co.uk has been through multiple transformations, and has been an immensely useful tool in gaining understanding and structure of my own work, and in my relationship with the public... the new site will afford me a little more objectivity, and will secure my distance from my audience.

Everything is a new beginning: relationship, work, business organisation, house, garden, language, food, air! It is a real rebirth, but slow and hard slog! My mind struggles at moments, to digest and to express, but on the whole, this is a truly immense...

Emptying water out of the big bell tent, planting out wild rockette and borage from the neighbour's garden, and eating pizza straight from the traditional bread over next door, with a new group of people connected with similar ideals to mine!

What a day- scorchio again, of course, but a little work required to tidy up after the extremo rain storm which crashed in yesterday: literally buckets of water dropped heavily from the darkest clouds I might ever have seen... We watched them race, like a computer-enhanced film, across the valley- level with our house door, a roof of thick grey, really galloping to throw itself down onto the green earth below.

And so welcome- another watering evening freed up! The poor tent though: not quite ready to be used as a gallery space yet; the ground we prepared was too soft with such a heavy rainfall- alongside a strong wind, the pegs had no effect in holding the structure steady! No additional damage, however, and today I outlined my first Italian figurative painting. Another most welcome thing, to have my paints out, and to be thinking about the deep meditation which comes with a long painting session.

The garden and house feel far less chaotic today- the weekend was another epic work session, and hopefully one of the last SO intensive ones! Sergio and I are alternately exhausted and elated. Though we are rushing into the work, the land welcomes the change, and thanks us, in a way. The plants appear ecstatic: my apple trees are loopy with...

We bought a wood-chipping machine: incredible! Such a shortcut to successful relationship with the soil!! Sergio has chipped the waste fig branches into gloriously aromatic (reminiscent of flowers, chocolate, figs) cover for the newly moved soil. The mulch sits shiny and new around seedlings of shockingly scented herbs, and jolly zuccini startlings.

After a desperately-needed lunchtime nap, I came to the balcony to find a beautiful detail added to the spiral beds I had dug: ancient tiles from the house, paved neatly into the curves; splendido. I love this partnership- the balance, dance, dynamism of two complimentary energies working side by side... there are moments when it works so well, it could never be planned so.

We made our first serious watering this evening, after Sergio managed far better than I to attach the hose to the tap upstairs... what a gift to have strong running water; the life-blood of the garden... like turning on an electrical source! I can almost hear the trees thanking us; buzzing in excitement at their rejuvenation.

The garden feels utterly transformed, again, and entering an entirely new phase (again!); there is now a sense of movement where even yesterday was dusty stillness. There is an instantaneousness here: just add water! So different to the weeks of waiting for seedlings to sprout, stretch and be coaxed to step outside. Here, a little effort reaps massive rewards, and I am ready for that!

The steps down into our garden descend steeply- no hand rails! Each terrace is divided in two by their cool, solid stability. Today my work involved cleaning, sweeping, removing weeds and debris from the stairs, and it struck me how strong the metaphor is, of clearing steps, of making the way clear, of allowing energy to flow.

A recent garden in Scotland that I worked intesively on, was based on the chakra system of the human body: a central path connected several circular terraced beds, on a steep north-facing slope. Very similar layout to here in Guardia, though here is a radically different equation to work within! My intuitive methodology, creative (art) practise, and deep-ecology philosophies have built into a strong interest in metaphor; literal and subtle ripples of interconnectedness and influences. Akin to currently fashionable ideas around the law of attraction: the working concept of all things echoing each other- as above, so below. I am writing a book outlining these ideas, and practical ways in which we can improve the cycles of events in our lives- transforming them from negative (or downward) spiralling patterns to upwardly moving ones!

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Rather an easier climate to work here in Italy than at 1,000 ft deep in the Scottish hinterland, and yet everything requires input, sacrifice, energetic exchange. Here the current focus is on water, managing dust, protecting soil from sun, wind, erosion. Already the ground we have weeded is dry as concrete, and beginning...

Sitting at my desk looking across the valley to the south of Guardia Sanframondi: it is my third week in Italy, and the day is stretching out in front of me, fresh, open, clean.

My partner and I are renovating a large house in the medieval quarter of the citadel; thegarden is large and terraced. We have begun sketching out in 3D the possibilities: forest garden, herb spiral, hedges. Seeds have been planted, and are already sprouting strong.

My work over the past 20 years has been a colourful blend of fine art, philosophy, deep ecology and hands-on intensive work in the field of transformation (health, social, personal). I have come here to share a vision with my partner: the rejuvenation of a semi-abandoned area of a fascinating town on a mountain side... I envisage the methodical drawing on of my extensive networks, and the eventual establishment of a rich hub of ideas exchange, inspiration, healing and personal ecology!

As with all my work and life experience, it is challenging to arrive in a new place... this time I have another new language to attend to, and am possibly embarking on the biggest personal step upwards...

My workspace is slowly coming together, but I will need the big bell tent up, to paint and ruminate in! The house and garden are a little paradise- utterly hidden, and waiting to be uncovered. I am relishing the privacy, the quiet exploration of new landscape and secret corners. It is a completely new world, and yet it is so perfectly my environment: a...